The opening sentence of the obituary shared the facts, “Iris Audry Newman Schoonover, 96, of Liberty, passed away peacefully in her home with her family by her side October 15, 2022.”
This is the story behind the facts. It is a story rooted deeply in a family’s love and commitment, and willingness to find a way to make a wish come true.
“Mom was a very independent woman,” said Scott, one of Iris’s six children.
Iris Schoonover
A fall at the age of 94 threatened her independence, putting her in the hospital and then a nursing home. The Schoonover children knew well the wish Iris held in her heart.
She lived her adult life in the house she and her husband, Bill, built on the Schoonover family farm. Iris wanted to live out her days in that home and nowhere else.
“We were going to make that happen,” Scott said.
The plan to bring Iris home
Scott and his wife built a house years ago on one side of the family home, and another brother built a house on the other side. With that on-site family presence, and arrangements made for 24/7 care and the necessary medical equipment, the Schoonover children brought their mother back to the home she had shared with Bill during their 47 years of married life, after she completed rehabilitation for her fall.
Even with a solid plan supporting their decision, Scott said he and his siblings realized something quickly.
“You don’t know what you don’t know,” he admitted.
The Schoonover family then made another discovery: You don’t have to know everything about the care needed by a 96-year-old woman. You just have to know where to go to learn.
Making the right call
Scott’s call to a local social service agency resulted in a suggestion to contact Blessing Palliative Care. That’s how Brenda Blickhan, APRN-AGPCNP, Blessing Palliative Care nurse practitioner, entered this story.
“She was the most valuable asset you could ever have,” Scott said of Brenda. “Any time we needed her, we called her. She is so knowledgeable. She put me at ease and then everything was at ease. It was wonderful.”
In addition to being a source of accurate and reliable information regarding their mom’s health, Brenda visited Iris in her home regularly. When Iris needed select medical tests, Brenda was able to arrange for people to come to the house to conduct the tests, reducing the number of times Iris had to leave home and her risk for illness or injury.
“Palliative Care provides people some peace of mind, knowing they can call us and we will work to help control symptoms, identify resources, have difficult conversations and provide support with social workers and chaplains” she said.
“The Schoonovers just wanted reassurance that what they were doing was the best thing for their mom,” she continued. “Sometimes we second guess ourselves as family, ‘Is this really the right thing to do?’”
“She was an amazing woman who knew what she wanted,” Brenda said of Iris. “Iris’s family provided her with exactly what she wanted at the end of her life. They helped her stay at home.”
As a banker, Scott Schoonover knows value. That is what Blessing Palliative Care brought to his mom and his siblings.
“Life’s final transition is a tough situation for families. But when you have professionals to guide you through that process, it is a very valuable resource and experience,” he said.
The Schoonover’s experience can be an example for others.
“It might take a lot of work on your part as the family, but make sure to have conversations with your loved ones; know what they want and honor their wishes,” Brenda concluded.
About Blessing Palliative Care
Palliative care helps a person achieve a higher quality in all aspects of their life by addressing the medical, social and spiritual complications that can come with life-limiting, chronic diseases. Those can include but are not limited to cancer; diabetes; heart and lung conditions (COPD, CHF), kidney problems (CKD, ESRD) and neurological diseases (multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s Disease, dementia).
One of the benefits palliative care can deliver to people is the need for fewer medical appointments due to effective management of their disease complications.
Palliative care is not hospice care. Hospice patients are terminally ill, with a diagnosis of six months or less to live, and have chosen to stop curative treatment in favor of only comfort care.
“Palliative care patients are not terminally ill at this point in their lives and can still have treatments for their disease if they choose,” said Penny Hyer, Blessing Palliative Care RN coordinator.
The Blessing Palliative Care team includes a doctor, nurse practitioner, registered nurse, social workers and a chaplain. Team members work in partnership with all other caregivers on whom the patient relies. Palliative care can be delivered in a patient’s home, a nursing home, or in the hospital.
For more information on Blessing’s palliative care services, go to blessinghealth.org/treatments/palliative-care
For guidance on having end-of-life care conversations with loved ones, go to the National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization website at caringinfo.org