Loving and caring.  That’s how people who knew her describe Shirley McLaughlin.

“She put everyone else before herself,” said one of Shirley’s four daughters, Kelly Sylvester.

One day, Shirley put herself first.

It was several months after she was diagnosed with cancer of the bile ducts in the liver and gallbladder. Kelly says her mom began chemotherapy, but it made her terribly sick.

“Mom was a fighter. She was not ready to give up,” Kelly added. “But she eventually decided if this was how she had to feel for the rest of her life, she would rather live out her days the best that she could, and that is what she did.”

After talking with her doctor, Shirley became a patient of Blessing Hospice & Palliative Care.

It was not an easy decision for anyone in the family, including Shirley, Kelly said.

“She had her hesitations and doubts. She was scared. I think in her eyes hospice meant giving up. I kept telling her hospice is about living out the rest of your days as best as you can. I just kept reminding her how good hospice was.”

Kelly is a nurse who has experience with end of life care delivered by hospice.

I told mom, ‘They are going to be there for you,’” she said through tears. “By having hospice involved you are going to have that support and won’t die in pain.”

“Shirley was an amazing lady with such strong faith in God,” said her hospice nurse, Molly Schulte, RN.  “After getting through the prognosis and understanding what hospice is really about, Shirley learned that she was still needed and loved.”

In addition to caring for Shirley, Kelly says Blessing Hospice supported the entire McLaughlin family. After 50 years together, illness separated Shirley and her husband Alan, known to everyone as “Buzzy.” He lived in the Illinois Veterans Home where Shirley would visit him every day before her cancer diagnosis. After she fell ill, Shirley moved to Bickford Senior Living in Quincy. Because of visiting restrictions caused by the pandemic, Shirley and Buzzy could no longer see each other. But, working with Blessing Hospice, Bickford allowed Buzzy to come see Shirley when he could, and the Illinois Veterans Home agreed to transport him across town to see her.

“My dad sang for years at church,” Kelly said. “He was able to sing at the bedside for mom, hold her hand, and tell her it was okay. It was okay to go. I felt like that is what mom needed to hear.”

“Shirley was a woman rooted in her faith and devoted to her family,” said Maggie Althide, clinical social worker, Blessing Hospice. “Shirley would still blush at times talking about Buzzy. Although they were not together every day due to COVID19 visiting restrictions at the end, she affectionately shared stories about him and their life to me throughout my visits.

On February 14, 2021 – Valentine’s Day – the lady described as loving and caring heard her beloved Buzzy and left this world. Buzzy joined her seven months later, passing away on September 25, 2021.

“Hospice helped her find peace and not be scared,” Kelly stated. “That was the biggest fear for her, the pain and the unknown.”

Since her mom passed, Kelly shares her professional and personal experience with others who have misconceptions about end-of-life hospice care.

“It is not giving up. It is about living your life, whatever days you have left, and it’s about comfort. Hospice will be there.”