When I turned 16, I was able to make an informed consent that if something tragic were to happen to me, I would want to live on through others. At such a young age, I knew that this could impact someone in a significant way. As the years went on, I didn’t think much of it. At the age of 18, I met my husband. He had two young children, one who had special needs. One year into our relationship, Nicholas, my step-son, became very ill. It was touch and go for months, at one point they told us he had less than a 1% chance of survival. We, as his parents, discussed organ donation. It was not a pretty topic, as you can imagine when talking about a 4-year-old. By the grace of God, he pulled through and fast forward, approximately 5 months later. The doctors weren’t very optimistic that Nicholas would survive past the age of 11. Nicholas lived to 14 years of age!
Nicholas, in year 14 of his life, started to back slide. We tried multiple treatments, therapy, surgery, test after test; but ultimately God must have been ready for him. On October 19, 2019, our son coded. Just two days before he was to be released to a rehab facility so we could bring him home. Hours and hours went by, which seemed like forever, and the constant seizures could not be stopped. We knew we weren’t bringing him home. My mind as a nurse then started gravitating toward organ donation, but how do you bring this up to your broken and devastated family? My husband and I talked long before about our own wishes as well as what we would want for our children. Thankfully Nicholas’ mom was on board as well. Nicholas was never officially declared brain dead but the activity was very minimal. What did this mean? Nicholas could ultimately be a DCD candidate, which meant that he could donate after cardiac death as long as it was within the 90-minute time frame. On October 24th, 2019, Nicholas’ spirit drifted off into the hands of God and they whisked his body off to the operating room to salvage what they could. Unfortunately, his body had been through so much and no organs were able to be harvested.
Was this devastating? Yes. But we knew the risk and it was possible they would get inside and things wouldn’t look as good as they had hoped. But there is so much more to organ donation than “live” organs. Nicholas’ tissues and his corneas were harvested. Anyone who knew Nicholas knew he had the most beautiful eyes. Not long after Nicholas passed, we received a letter stating that Nicholas’ gift restored the site of a 33-year-old man in Missouri. Although we anxiously await to see if any of the heart valves, tendons, long bones or tissues have been reallocated. We are happy to know that Nicholas is able to live on through someone else’s eyes.
As a nurse, during the past 4 years I have been fortunate enough to work with some of the best nurses, doctors, and families one could ever ask for. I joined the Life Team a year after becoming an ICU nurse. We developed processes as a team and even put together the first honor walks at Blessing Hospital.
Although I have always been a huge advocate for organ donation and why take them with you if they can save someone else; these have a whole new meaning for me.
- Abbie Hochgraber, Associate Nurse Manager, Critical Care/PCU, Blessing Hospital